Nick Taxia

Nick Taxia is a former campaign manager and consultant in Washington, D.C. He is the primary writer and producer of the conservative-leaning satirical web site, DuhProgressive.com, as well as a rising radio personality, commentator, and comedian.

Islam

Nick TaxiaDecember 2, 2015
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PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE APOCALYPSE: Islam and Our ‘Future’ Together

To readers: This is a revised version of a previous article by Nick Taxia, which is not satire. Although this…
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Lame Stream Media

Nick TaxiaMay 19, 2015
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MSNBC SAYS Black Cops Charged In Freddie Gray’s Are ‘White-African-Americans’

The following is satire. by Ledge Slater, DP Editor-Enlarged Friday, May 8, 2015 (NEW YORK)— Move over George Zimmerman, you…
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Email Featured

Nick TaxiaMarch 3, 2015
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ERIC HOLDER: ‘The Only Way To End Racism Is To Never Stop Talking About It’

The following is satire. My Fellow Americans, In my last days as your Attorney General I cannot help but reflect…
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Nick TaxiaJanuary 20, 2015
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DiFi: ‘Maybe All These Terrorists Need Is Just a Big Old Bear Hug’

The following is satire. Fellow Americans and People of France, First, allow me to express my deepest sympathies at the…
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Nick TaxiaNovember 4, 2014
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OBAMA REASSURES DEMS: ‘Like Your Senate Majority? You Can Keep It!’

The following is satire. by Joel Legnutt, DP staff, Monday, November 3, 2014, (DANSVILLE, VA) —In a mid-term election season…
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Nick TaxiaOctober 14, 2014
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AVOIDING ‘FINAL SOLUTION’ 2.0: Islam, the Future, ‘Apples’, Pt. 3

(continued from parts one and two…) Redundancy Required: I and Duh Progressive rejects this course of action, as I −we−…
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Nick TaxiaOctober 9, 2014
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AVOIDING ‘FINAL SOLUTION’ 2.0: Islam, the Future, ‘Apples’, Pt. 2

Continued from Part 1 here: Russians, Chinese, Anglo-Saxons, Japanese, Hispanics, most sub‒Saharan Africans, Mongolians, Koreans, Scandinavians, Polynesians, you name it…
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History

Nick TaxiaOctober 7, 2014
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AVOIDING ‘FINAL SOLUTION’ 2.0: Islam, the Future, ‘Apples’, Pt. 1

Apples. That’s what I keep thinking about these days. There are many types of apples, just like there are many…
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Email Featured

Nick TaxiaSeptember 30, 2014
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NATIONAL HYSTERIA! Eric Holder Departs DOJ

(The following is satire.) by Joel Legnutt, DP senior staff, Tuesday, September 30, 2014, (WASHINGTON) — Ordinary citizens left their…
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Email Featured

Nick TaxiaJuly 29, 2014
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LETTER FROM SADDAM: ‘Miss Me Yet?’

Dear American Swine, Well, well… Seems we have a lot to talk about these days, don’t we? Luckily I was…
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Nick TaxiaJune 24, 2014
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Obama Warns Iraqi Islamists: ‘‘Stop…or I’ll Say ‘Stop’ Again!’’

The following is Satire. by Joel Leggnut, DP staff (NEW YORK)—Hell hath no fury like a Barack Obama scorned! And…
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Nick TaxiaJune 12, 2014
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Bergdahl Leak?: No One Told Me ‘War Could be Dangerous’

The following is satire. by Diana Jameson, new DP staff (GERMANY) —It was only a matter of time: an apparent…
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Nick TaxiaMay 21, 2014
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Sandra Fluke: ‘‘I’d Rather Be a Captive Nigerian Girl than Touched by a Republican’’

The following is satire. (HERMOSA BEACH, CA) —Taking time out from her campaign to win California Senate seat 28 in…
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Nick TaxiaMay 13, 2014
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My Fellow Conservatives: Time to Drag Some of You to the Woodshed

Sat·ire: a way of using humor to show that someone or something is foolish, weak, bad, etc. : humor that…
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Business

Nick TaxiaMay 6, 2014
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Target Stores to Stop Selling Cotton–Made Products Due to Crop’s Role in Slavery

The following is satire. by Diana Jameson, DP staff Tuesday, May 6, 2014, (MINNEAPOLIS) — “Clothes made of cotton, cotton…
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Culture & Art

Nick TaxiaApril 8, 2014
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Bummer — Sorry, Asians, But You’re Just ‘‘Too White’’ to Care About

The last week of March may have witnessed the saddest and most short-lived scandals regarding a politically incorrect/racist incident in…
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Nick TaxiaMarch 25, 2014
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Hitler: ‘No Trannies? Of Course! THAT’S Why I Lost the War!’

The following is satire by Adolf Hitler Dear America, After seven decades of wondering, agonizing, spending sleepless nights tossing and…
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Nick TaxiaMarch 18, 2014
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Student Suspended for Calling Shooting at His School ‘Gay’

The following is satire. Ledge Slater, DP Editor Enlarged (SAN DIEGO) —School officials and police are beside themselves today after…
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Business

Nick TaxiaMarch 12, 2014
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‘Laziness’ Now Classified as Official Disease by Obama Administration, Requires Funding

(From WIRES) (WASHINGTON) —Following the American Medical Association’s advice, the Obama administration has officially classified laziness as a “disease”; a…
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Business

Nick TaxiaFebruary 21, 2014
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‘Thank You for Freeing Me from My ‘Job Lock’ President Obama!’

by Larry Carver, former UPS Employee, Dear President Obama and Congress, As of 3:22 PM, last Friday, I ceased being…
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Culture & Art

Nick TaxiaFebruary 12, 2014
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Stupid Cupid — School Bans Valentine’s Day Cupid (‘Bow and Arrow’ Promote Violence’)

The following is Satire by Nick Taxia, DP Creator-in-Chief (GREEN BAY, WI) —Start flapping your angelic wings, Cupid, and fly…
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Business

Nick TaxiaFebruary 4, 2014
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Pelosi: ‘‘Waiting Longer in Emergency Rooms Will Allow You to Make New Friends!’’

(The following is satire.) Dear Fellow Americans, Among the many fears people are expressing about the Affordable Care Act is…
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Economy

Nick TaxiaDecember 24, 2013
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K. Sebelius: “Your Obamacare Worries Will Be Cured When You’re Dead”

The Following is Satire. My Fellow Americans, I have not been deaf to the outcry over the impacts of the…
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Nick TaxiaDecember 17, 2013
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Gay Rights Group: Disliking ‘Fruitcake’ Is Homophobic

(The following is satire). by Ledge Slater, DP stud and intern (NEW YORK) — A prominent gay rights organization is…
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Nick TaxiaDecember 6, 2013
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Muslims Blame Christianity, U.S. for Muslim Man Trampled on Black Friday

The following is satire. by Ibrahim al-Lincoln, Official DP Muslim Civil War Re-enactor (DEARBORN, MI) — An anguished wife along…
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Economy

Nick TaxiaNovember 19, 2013
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‘‘I Thought Obamacare Would Make Sure No One Would Ever Die!’’

[Editor: Typos and grammatical errors included below as in original] by Flower McMillan Dear President Obama, Mr. President, like, dude,…
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Email Videos

Nick TaxiaNovember 7, 2013
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Head-Slapper! Obama Just Now Learning He is President!

The following is satire. (From WIRES) Monday, November 4th, 2013, (WASHINGTON) — According to White House sources, Barack Obama was…
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Business

Nick TaxiaOctober 29, 2013
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Fifth Person Dies While Waiting to Sign Up for Obamacare

The following is satire. (NASHVILLE, TN) — The notoriously long, hampered, arduous wait to sign up for Obamacare has reportedly…
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Culture & Art

Nick TaxiaOctober 17, 2013
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NA Activists Push for ‘’Redskins’ Name Change and SUPER Extinction

(The following is satire.) (WASHINGTON) —Determined once and for all to make sure that not a single soul knows that…
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Culture & Art

Nick TaxiaSeptember 24, 2013
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NOT WELCOME: Miss America Backlash and Whom We Must Disown Among Us

“Out, damned spot! out, I say!” cries Lady Macbeth as she tries to rub off the imaginary blood stains she…
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Foreign Policy

Nick TaxiaSeptember 17, 2013
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STRIKE! – U.S. Bombards Syria with Over 200 ‘Ambivalent Patriot’ Missiles!

The following is satire. (From WIRES) (DAMASCUS) — Less than two days after Secretary of State John Kerry announced that…
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Foreign Policy

Nick TaxiaSeptember 10, 2013
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9/11 Anniversary Attacks? White House Preparing for ‘Mother of All Non-Responses’

The Following is Satire (WASHINGTON) —Terrorists around the world beware…! If you’re thinking you can get away with another 9/11…
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Bazingas

Nick TaxiaSeptember 10, 2013
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September 11 — Vivere! To Live!

In acknowledgement of September 11 and its victims, Nick Taxia kindly asks readers to click and take in this song,…
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Foreign Policy

Nick TaxiaSeptember 3, 2013
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Obama Administration Now Teaching Taliban Fighters Yoga to “Calm them down”

The following is satire (KABUL, AFGHANISTAN) — As the U.S. is preparing for possible military action in Syria while withdrawing…
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Immigration

Nick TaxiaAugust 27, 2013
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TERROR! My Horrifying Run-In With … KOREAN PEOPLE!

The following is satire — sort of. I was petrified, frozen; immobilized in fear, the only part of me yearning…
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Nick TaxiaAugust 20, 2013
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President Obama to Enter Rehab for “Vacation Addiction”

The Following is Satire. Tuesday, August 20th, 2013, (WASHINGTON) — President Obama has received much criticism from both the Right…
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