Would it be bad manners to ask someone, anyone, to please loosen the skin ponytail Nancy Pelosi has hidden under her perfectly-coifed bob? Loosening it up is imperative, because the rubber band keeping it all in place is so tight that it’s causing the woman’s lips to repeatedly subject all of America to liberal insanity.
This time, that washer of immigrant children’s feet, Nancy Pelosi, is celebrating Cinco de Mayo. Cinco de Mayo is why the House Minority speaker felt it was necessary to post a touching message in commemoration of Mexico’s special day.
For starters, the woman whose president arms drug cartels, who scorns the Second Amendment, and who has zero problem relinquishing America’s rights and future to a marauding band of interlopers from South of the Border, memorialized the “courage and heroism of a poorly armed Mexican militia that, in 1862, and in defense of their country, their rights, and their future, defeated the imperial French army in the Battle of Puebla.”
Push #7 for English, otherwise henceforth, so as not to offend our Mexican brethren, the Battle of Puebla should be referred to as El Día de la Batalla de Puebla.
Meanwhile, after lauding the sovereign nation of Mexico defending itself from invasion, Pelosi shared this: “As we look back on a seminal moment in history, let us also look forward to the best ways we can continue to embrace the diverse heritage and rich history of Latinos in the United States.”
Wait just a minute! Is Nancy Pelosi actually proposing that Americans should venerate a Mexican militia for defending itself against foreign incursion by calling an illegal incursion upon our nation an “important contribution?”
Why, yes! Yes she is!
Otherwise why would Mrs. Pelosi say, “There is no better way to acknowledge the important contributions to our country of America’s Latino community than by enacting comprehensive immigration reform”?
In other words, in the bizarre liberal world where Nancy Pelosi’s brain resides, granting amnesty to 11 to 30 million illegals would “acknowledge the important contributions to our country” that lawbreakers, primarily from Mexico, have made.
“Important contributions” such as setting a precedent where U.S. immigration law has been permanently neutered; negatively impacting the job availability for competing workers; and weighing down the already overtaxed health care system.
Other “important contributions” include living off the U.S. government’s teat, collecting social security and sending it home, filling up American prisons with murderers, rapists, drug addicts, and child prostitution smugglers, and demanding U.S. citizens be prohibited from wearing patriotic T-shirts on the 5th of May.
And for good measure, there’s also the introduction of barbaric drug cartel practices like revenge beheadings, smuggling pot and methamphetamine in fire extinguishers, transporting third world contagions long-eradicated from the United States, the influx of culturally diverse murderous street gangs in American cities, and building underground tunnels from Mexico into the U.S. that al Qaeda can also make use of someday.
Even so, Nancy Pelosi still believes that “Whether on Cinco de Mayo or on any other day, the time is now for comprehensive immigration reform” because, in spite of the aforementioned list of so-called contributions, she feels that it “honors the values of our country, strengthens our economy, and provides an earned pathway to citizenship.” A pathway that wasn’t earned; it was stolen.
According to skin-pony-tailed Pelosi, “the time is now for House Republicans to emulate the bravery demonstrated in the Battle of Puebla.”
That’s right, “the time is now” to relinquish the desire to fully maintain the rule of law and “recognize the importance of immigrants and family unification,” even if doing so imposes undue pressure upon law-abiding American families.
And last but not least, “the time is now” to fully acquiesce to amnesty insanity by giving Democrats “a vote on a comprehensive bill that reforms our broken immigration system” – and provides a voting base that will keep Nancy Pelosi and the loony left in power indefinitely.
“¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo!”